Friendships Adrift

Lately I have been feeling a bit…displaced. The weirdest part about living on campus during the year and at home during breaks is the inevitable disconnectedness. And this disconnectedness swells largest in my friendships.

While living on Washburn’s campus, I noticed myself drifting away from my groups of friends at home. And now that I am at home, I worry about drifting away from my friends in Topeka.

This year I was especially lucky to have made some friends who are very good at reaching out to me and keeping in touch. But for some reason, there are some friends that I struggle to keep up with. I’ve spoken to my own roommate a grand total of two times since we both moved out of the dorms. 

I take my share of responsibility for this. Let’s face it. I am an introvert. I am an “out of sight, out of mind” kind of person.

Now I have this whole new set of friends from college to keep up with. They are very important to me and I don’t want to lose them just because we have busy summers. This is teaching me the importance of reaching out. Friendships take effort. They take initiative and input. They take responsibility.

This is new to me. So I am starting small. I’m trying to remember to say at least a quick “hello” to one person from college each day. Just to keep up. This will become easier as I spend more time with these new friends in the coming semesters.

As for my friends at home…things still feel off.  My friends agree.

Whether you notice it or not, you do change, grow and evolve at college. The drifting away from former friendships is to be expected.

I do feel that in realizing this, my friends and I have learned to acclimate to the new dynamic of our friendship. So we still get together. We try to face that drift head on. We try not to fake enjoyment of each other’s company, but instead do new things, find new things in common and create new traditions. We adapt.

We are supposed to be grown-ups now. And that’s often what we talk about. We are slowly starting to realize that there are more important things than Buffy the Vampire Slayer and what so-and-so said on Facebook.

In summary, if you feel the dynamic of your friendships changing, it’s OK. In fact it’s normal. You may learn to acclimate, you may not. These years of college are sort of like middle school all over again. (YIKES.)

Some friendships will grow stronger. Some will dissipate. You are just learning where you fit in. And you are not alone.