Birth at a Funeral

Last week, I had to return home for my grandfather’s funeral. The day was filled with family and cousins and people I had never met before. An introvert’s nightmare. But, I was eager to see some people that I dearly missed and to make final peace with someone who I never felt was that interested in being an involved person in my life.

Many people introduced themselves and told me how much they admired my grandfather and missed him. More often than not, they said he spoke of my brother and I often and that he was always very proud of us. I just wish he would have told me. He was never that great at offering words of affirmation. But then, neither am I.

The funeral service was just as we all expected - complete with Elvis Presley renditions of gospel classics. When the casket was closed, everyone seemed grateful  for the time to let things go, content to leave the baggage in the past and remember the good.

I suppose that's a lesson in itself. Learning to let things go.

It was a long day for us all. The service was held in Missouri, but the burial was in south-east Kansas. That is a lot of driving. Especially for my aunt, who happened to be thirty-eight weeks pregnant.

That night, just a few hours after they returned from the funeral to where they were staying, my aunt went into labor. By the next morning, a new cousin had been added to the Wade family.

Now, my family and friends know that babies terrify me. They are small, more flexible than cats, need consistent and regular attention, and they absolutely suck at communicating. The squeal of a young child strikes fear into my heart.

Photo credit: Tracey Wade

That being said... This one was pretty cute.

In just twenty-four hours, the Wade family experienced an event of finality and an event of newness.

The coolest part about life is that it's always giving us opportunities to start over and to do better. Finishing chapters and starting new ones. Each morning brings us the option of leaving yesterday in the past and creating something new today. And I find that to be incredibly comforting.

My Study System

This week I wrote an article for the Review about the importance of preparing for finals early. Now I’m going to offer you some tips from my own study process and encourage you to develop your own! There are four main parts to my study process and it relies heavily on my in class note-taking.

Take good Notes in Class:

I depend on my notes to carry me through my process. If I’m not taking good notes, my system just won’t be complete. But we are a bit over halfway through the semester and you might be feeling a bit of burnout. I know I am. Don’t allow the temptation to let your mind wander get the better of you. Instead, focus your energy on your note-taking. It may not help the day get any more interesting or go any faster…but it will help you pick up and absorb the information presented.

Make a Copy of Your Notes:

This is the most essential part of my own routine. I take ‘chicken-scratch’ notes in class. They look super messy – no one would ever want to read them. In class, I worry less about the look of my notes as I take them. Instead, I focus on the information and make sure I have all the details I need. Then, each night, I copy those notes down on a separate sheet of paper. I structure them and color code them in a way that works for me. I’m a visual learner and I find that color helps quite a bit. Colored pens are my best friends!

Develop a Schedule for Reading Your Notes:

Now it’s up to repetition to get the information ingrained in your memory. Don’t let your notes sit idly by! Establish a routine and stick to it. Schedule a time to go over your notes for each class. It could be once a day, every other day, weekly, etc. It’s up to you how often you need to review your notes. Prioritize the classes in which you need to brush up on your knowledge and skills.

Practice Your Tests:

The best way to prepare for a test is to practice the test. If your professor is kind enough to hand out a study guide, don’t let it go to waste! Use it to practice! Write out your answers. Have a friend or roommate quiz you. Time yourself. Also…look for gaps in what you know. It’s not in your notes? Ask your professor!

By developing a study system that works for you and sticking to it, you will be better equipped to handle finals week in December and you will save yourself a load of stress!

Looking for more resources for study tips and help? Try these links:

• WU's Tutoring & Writing Center - Helpful Academic Websites
• CrashCourse on YouTube
• "How to study effectively" by SimonOxfPhys on YouTube
• HowToStudy.org

Happy studying!

Find Your Political Voice

I know. I’m sick of them too.

Political ads. Yep, it’s that time again.

I always feel so manipulated by these ads. They’re so obviously swayed, it practically makes me sick. 

I’m not going to vote for someone just because they bashed their opponents on television. Give me the facts.

To be aware of the facts, you have to get involved. It’s essential that you as an adult achieve a basic understanding of political issues and use your political voice to participate. No more sitting on the sidelines, listening to your family argue politics over Thanksgiving dinner… It’s time for you to get active!

But how does one find their political voice?

It’s pretty easy. It can be boiled down into three simple steps. All it takes is a little passion about things that matter!

Educate Yourself!

Have you ever found yourself ready to punch someone in the face because they were SURE they were right, but they didn’t have the facts to back it up? Welcome to politics. This is why it is absolutely essential to educate yourself. Find real world issues to get passionate about. There are plenty of areas that need reform and development. I’m not just talking about saving the whales, here. America is notorious for its inequality issues – women and gender, marriage, income, race, education and student loans. There’s plenty to get passionate about.

Do your research. Don’t just stick with one source like Fox News or CNN – check many sources to look at the issue from all perspectives.  Talk to your friends, family, and colleagues. Get their opinions and compare them. Compare them to your research. Now you’re starting to develop your own opinion – and that’s a good thing! As long as you have educated yourself thoroughly on the topic. You and I may not share the same opinion on an issue, but if you can defend your opinion with hardcore information, I will respect it.

Have opinions!

Opinions are not innately bad. Opinions are natural! Solid opinions are important to your decision making. But don’t be pigheaded and unwavering about your opinions. Listen to others. Keep up with news and research. Don’t shame others for having a different opinion than your own. Discuss your opinions with others in a respectful way. You might learn something new, or you might begin to understand things from a different perspective. Your opinion might change…and that’s okay! It’s important to be open to new ideas and their discussion.

Get involved!

Some were born to be activists. Some choose to be activists. You don’t have to carry a picket sign down 21^st street calling for an increase in the minimum wage… But hey, if that suits your fancy, go for it. Activism is important! Share your opinions and call for change. Call out political leaders when they are causing more harm than good. Start a campus organization, organize rallies, table in the union, create posters, sponsor a peaceful protest. Go for it. But becoming a political activist is not for everyone. The important thing is to be aware of what’s going on in your country and be active. The easiest and most crucial way to do this is by registering to vote…and then voting.

Don’t let your educated opinions go to waste. Your voice matters! Get passionate, get involved, and get active.

Occupation: Fangirl

It’s a big day in the nerd world. My friend is trying to keep her heart from exploding as the final book in the Heroes of Olympus (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) series is released today and I cannot contain my extreme joy for the Season 10 premiere of Supernatural tonight! In fact, as I write this post, I am sitting at the television, watching the Season 9 marathon with my laptop and a cup of tea in hand.

In honor of this very special day, this post goes out to the nerds of campus – to my fellow fangirls and fanboys.

First of all, I love you guys. Some may try to judge us for the ways in which we spend our time, but they just don’t understand.

We are devoted readers. We are dedicated viewers. We are the fascinated discussers. We are restless writers. We are brilliant artists. We are the greatest supporters. We are the captivated audience. There’s so much more to us than graphic tees and Tumblr blogs.

What amazes me most about fandoms (be it Harry Potter, Marvel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you name it…) is the sense of community that they can provide! Popular fandoms bring people together for discussion. You meet new people and you make friends. It can be small scale on the internet or on campus, or it can be large scale at conventions like Comic-Con!

Fans are everywhere and they may not always be the people you’d expect. Fandom crosses social circles. You can find them in the marching band, on the cheerleading squad, and in fraternity houses. You will meet them in your law classes, nursing classes, history, and English. Fans come from many different backgrounds and have a variety of different goals – but it’s the fan-ness that connects us.

We have each had an experience with a story that helped to shape us. Maybe it was a movie you watched with your siblings, or a videogame your friend recommended to you. Maybe it was a book you heard about from a YouTuber, or a television series your dad watched when you were young. Maybe it was a story you discovered all on your own that was relevant to your life at the time. One of the most fundamental things about being a human is that stories impact us.

Characters are not just fiction to us, because we recognize what they represent – real life issues or emotions that we all face daily. Characters influence us, they make us look within ourselves, and they help us to acknowledge the reality of good and bad in the world. Most importantly, they teach us how to deal when life doesn’t go as we think it should.

As fangirls and fanboys, we embrace stories. We follow them, support them, we want them to continue. We recognize their impact and the lessons they have to teach.

We are the guardians of stories.

So the next time you see someone wearing an Adventure Time shirt or Deathly Hallows earrings, ask them about life. They’ll probably have a lot to say. And you will have connected with someone on a deeper level than you could have imagined.

When What You Do for Fun Isn't Fun Anymore

If you have spoken to me within the last week, you know that I am going through a major period of burnout. I’m feeling zero creativity and zero productivity. I even made a little YouTube video about this in recent days.

Ah, burnout. It’s something we will all face and struggle with at some point.

How did you decide on a major? Probably because it was something you were good at and enjoyed and thought you could do forever.

My thing is writing. I've been writing little stories since I was a kid, but I didn't decide it was what I wanted to do with my life until just a couple of years ago.

I love it. So much. I get a tremendous high off of completing projects and then getting them published. I'm driven by the overwhelming sense of accomplishment I get from finishing a piece. 

Photo credit: Katie Wade.

And…honestly, I don't know if this is straight up pride or just healthy motivation…but when people tell me that they like my writing, I want to write more. It feels good. It feels right. I enjoy it. And I don't want to stop.

Now I'm at a point where I’m not just writing for fun. I am majoring in both history and mass media, so all of my major homework is assigned writing. I’m also taking a foreign language this year…so more writing. On top of that, I write for and maintain this blog for the Washburn Review.

Yay. Writing.

So. I’m just feeling burnt out. My creativity is at an all-time low and it’s not even October. I’m worried. I catch myself wondering how I am going to keep this up.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to stop. I really love what I do. I’m not rethinking my dreams or anything.

But I’m at a point where there is so much happening… It feels like all of these words are being ripped from my mouth and there are none left for me to say for myself.

Photo credit: Katie Wade.

It’s exhausting.

So what do you do when the thing you do for fun isn't fun anymore? What do you do when it starts to feel more like a chore? How do you get your spark back for the thing that burns you out?

I usually need to take some time to refocus my energy. I have to take a break from the thing and pursue something else creatively for a little while.

Fall break is coming up this weekend and it is just what I have been needing. So, maybe I’ll focus on videos or practice my photography skills. Maybe I’ll finally get started on my ‘To Be Read’ book pile. Or…maybe I’ll just buy a new coloring book.

However I choose to spend the break, I am excited to come back refueled with energy and creativity for the thing I love to do most – write.

Thank you guys for reading this post and I’ll see you in two weeks.

KW

People Need People

I'm a big believer in destiny. Or, maybe not destiny...but in meaningful coincidences. It's funny when coincidences perfectly align. There's no way it's meaningless. It is intentional. Life intends for us to be in this moment because every moment before it has led us up to this exact point. Life has done this for a reason.

Nothing is meaningless.

The coincidences aligned once again in an obvious fashion this week. This coming Monday will be my birthday. Last weekend a ghost materialized. This week is National Suicide Prevention Week - in fact, today is World Suicide Prevention Day!

These are all connected, I promise. Allow me to explain.

I’m turning nineteen. Which is nothing special, I’m sure. I won’t gain any new allowances with the United States government. I’ll still be a teenager. No big deal. But then I flipped my thinking from what nineteen will bring to what nineteen has brought. Life has changed so much in nineteen years - especially in the area of my relationships. In a matter of just five years, my group of people has completely changed. I can count the number of friends from five years ago that I still have today on just one hand.

And for a while this made me very sad.

This weekend I met up with a friend who completely disappeared from my life almost a year ago. I thought she was gone forever. But she recently reappeared. We were able to meet up and address some very important life topics. It felt so strange at first…surreal. Of course, it could take some time and work to rebuild that friendship. But at the moment, I am just grateful. I got lucky. I am lucky that she reached out to me again.

The occurrence of this reunion a time where I was realizing drastic changes in my friendships was certainly no coincidence.

I learned a fundamental lesson. A fact of life.

People need people.

I spend far too much time telling myself that I don’t need people, that I can do it myself, and I spend far too little time telling myself that I do need people, that I can’t do it alone. Nowadays, I have a very difficult time letting myself get attached to people. I put up walls and set distant boundaries so that the pain hurts a little less if things go awry. But that is very costly.

It costs community and support. Essentials to surviving.

The truth is that I need people. You need people, too. We need each other.

Life is not easy. It cannot be done alone. We need people to share our stories with, build us up, and remind us of our truth and worth.

Tying this together… This week is National Suicide Prevention Week. The Washburn University chapter of TWLOHA (To Write Love on Her Arms) will be tabling in the Memorial Union Monday – Friday from 11AM – 1PM. It is a core belief of the organization that people need other people for the very reasons mentioned above. Stop by the table this week to make friends and learn about mental health.

And as this is World Suicide Prevention Day... Take a moment to remind people that you care. Send smiles to the people you pass on the sidewalk. Hug someone who might be struggling. Text an old friend. Call your siblings. Perform a random act of kindness.

"Be kind; for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - John Watson

"Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, the least costly, and the most underrated agent of human change." - Bob Kerrey

"When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them." - Unknown

Five Major Reasons to Get Involved with Your Campus

Today is a special day on campus! The Activities, Majors, & Study Abroad Fair is happening today in the Washburn Room! From 10:00AM to 2:00PM, you can come and explore the many opportunities for growth and achievement that Washburn has for you. With this event in mind, today's post is about getting involved. Here are five major reasons to get involved with your campus:

      1.     Involvement Gains You Experience in Teamwork and Leadership

This is the most fundamental reason you should get involved in college, especially if you were not as involved in previous school years. Participating in campus activities and organizations will help you to develop some very critical skills for the professional world. When the time comes for you to enter that world, the ability to work well on a team will be essential. Getting involved will get you to practice these abilities early. Through participating in an organization you will develop better communication and interpersonal skills. You may even work your way up to a position of leadership.

      2.     Involvement Can Help You Earn and Maintain Scholarships

Many scholarships like to know how their applicants and awardees invest their time. They like to know that the award is going to a dedicated person who works hard and has a heart for their community. If you are investing in your community and your campus, you are likely to be considered a good candidate. Some scholarships will require you to volunteer and do extra service projects. Washburn has some great opportunities for involvement in the community that cover multiple fields.

      3.     Involvement with Campus Activities and Organizations Looks Good on Your Resume

Don't forget to mention the different organizations and activities you take part in on your resume! Being an involved student can give your resume some extra pizazz. As participating in a campus organization can gain you skills in leadership and team work (as well as communication and community connections), employers will look for your areas of involvement and will likely bring it up in your interview. Your involvement on campus counts as professional experience too. So be sure to emphasize it and use it to make yourself stand out.

      4.     You Meet More People by Getting Involved and Participating

This one is a given. By participating in campus and community activities and organizations, you mean people – lots of people! You may even meet people that you wouldn't consider getting to know otherwise. Getting involved can broaden your horizons and gain you experience in working with people of all types. That is an extremely important skill to have in the professional world, by the way. And hey, you just might make some new friends at the same time!

      5.     You Make Professional Connections in Your Community by Getting Involved

Lastly, getting involved in activities and organizations is the easiest way to make professional connections in your immediate area. Your campus community and the community surrounding it make up your first professional playground. Explore! Volunteer for something that’s a bit out of your comfort zone. Do it for the experience. Those first professional connections will act as your foundation for future careers and success. Get involved and get that experience early.